Well, its been ages since i've posted anything on this blog. And frankly i've moved on to greener pastures. I've started a new blog called Cafe van Zoen where i'm posting food experiments, DIY, design and anything that catches my fancy. Plus Piet spend all day today setting it up for me, so i'm really excited about it. Its clean and simple just how I wanted it.
It's 1 in the morning and i'm too tired to bother with a long informative post. However I did want to share that I have been working with a non profit here in Portland called Zimbabwe Artists Project doing some web based marketing work and stuff like that. It started as an internship, but I don't want credit for it, so i'm really just doing some very involved volunteer work. They were tenants of ours when I was working at Beam .
Anyway, I just made some short video clips based on a 20 min video which can be seen on their website www.zimbabweartistsproject.org
Here are the clips...
I have also put together a Facebook Page for them, if you are interested in becoming a "fan" you can check them out here
I plan on hooking them up with an Etsy account as well to start selling some of the art work, but you can purchase items online or through their physical location. They have TONS of pieces, all original.
As some of you may or may not know, I was in fact a member of my high school marching band for only 2 years, before quitting after being fed up with the inappropriate behavior of our drum instructor (on a side note I even wrote a letter to the school faculty about his drug use with and in front of students, comments about some of the female students etc etc...but apparently it was more important for them to have a really good drumline instructor than a moral one so nothing ever came of it )
But we were a good drumline none the less and worked A LOT harder than the rest of the band. Not to mention the fact that our instruments were like ten times heavier than anyone elses. Anyway last night I had a dream that I was watching the video of our 2001 - 2002 performance, and I got really excited, especially in the 3rd act where we had a huge drum solo, which unfortunately in the following video was COMPLETELY left out of the footage, but you can still hear it sort of. I remember it being the hardest part to march as well because the marching time was totally different from the playing time. Anyway, I was super pleased when I found it on youtube.
I also really wanted to find a video of our winter drum line performance that year, but could not. Luckily I have it on VHS :P
I've always told myself that I don't really like to argue or debate about things for the most part because I feel a lot of people don't understand the concept of debate and end up just arguing their point and trying to invalidate the other persons opinion. But i'm starting to wonder if I only say that to make up for the fact that I'm not very smart and simply can't argue a point.
Tonight it became embarrassingly clear when a conversation turned into what should be a healthy debate, but as soon as the other party got worked up and passionate (again this person does understand the concept of a debate, so they weren't doing anything wrong) and I completely shut down. As soon as the voices were raised I couldn't think about anything else other than how badly I wanted to not be having the conversation at all. I immediately felt inferior, a lump began to well in my throat and the water works started.
I don't understand it. I can't figure out if its because having a conversation like that reminds me of how little I really know, or if its tapping into some past experiences i've had. I just know I can not communicate with people when they begin to raise their voices, I just shut down. My step dad (who I love very much and think is totally awesome) would get very worked up like that when I was younger, and I remember having the same feelings then as I do now. But I hate that some one can make me feel that way, like a child, like a uneducated surf.
I guess I know now why I avoid debate at most cost. I do still believe I avoid it based on the fact that I used to know or had classes with a lot of cocky hot headed people who thought after their nineteen or twenty years of age they knew everything, and debate to them meant shoving their opinions down their throat like it was truth. But the other half is something deeper I can not put my finger on. Something that makes me feel inferior and small.
I always wished I was one of those people who could argue about things, and make poignant statements, but I guess i'm just not, and i'm going to have to be OK with that.
ALSO - thinking about the lump in my throat totally reminded me of this most amazing song.
